How can you divorce quickly without creating acrimony?

During a recent ITV 'Tonight' documentary, the subject of divorce was discussed and the issue of whether England & Wales should allow parties to separate on a no-fault basis (as you can in Scotland or the US) was debated with valid arguments made on both sides.

In fact, couples can separate without blaming each other but they must wait at least 2 years from the point of separation to be able to do so.

So how can you divorce quickly without creating acrimony?

Your spouse must either admit to adultery (it is not enough to simply allege it, you must be able to prove that adultery has occurred) or you must allege blame against them.

Strictly speaking, the law requires you to say that your spouse has “behaved in such a way that you cannot reasonably be expected to live with them.” There is no reference in the law to ‘unreasonable behaviour' - as it is commonly termed - the test is entirely subjective: it depends on you and your circumstances. 

In essence you are being asked ‘what was it that caused you to reach the decision the marriage was over?’. Was it one thing, or a number of smaller things which built up over time? What was the ‘final straw’? Each Divorce Petition will have different reasons because everyone’s relationship is different.

Relying on behaviour doesn’t need to create animosity. It is good practice to send a draft of the Petition to your spouse before it goes to the Court and if you are agreed that the marriage is over, you will be advised by your lawyers that the reasons for the divorce does not need to affect the financial settlement or the arrangements for any children.  

In my experience it is far better to start your divorce proceedings at an early stage rather than try and wait out the 2 year period. This is because your financial settlement is determined by what the assets are at the point of divorce and not the point of separation; the financial picture may look very different several months down the line. 

I have also experienced the sense of fairness fading for one or both parties when dealing with the practicalities of the split and you can find that your spouse is a lot less forgiving or supportive if enough water has passed under the bridge (particularly if one or both of you has a new partner). 

Importantly however, my clients tell me that they could not start to look forward and move on with their life when they had the legalities still hanging over them. A lot of clients worry unnecessarily about what is to come, rather than seeking some early guidance and reassurance from a family solicitor.