Help for domestic abuse victims

This is a time of year when families and friends come together for celebration and festivities. Unfortunately, it is also the time of year when cracks within relationships can show themselves.

Christmas on the one hand can be a joyous time. On the other hand, it can lead to stress, arguments and even violence. It is not wholly surprising given the fact that we tend to collect together and spend time with people that we sometimes would not choose to spend time with. This can all lead to a ratcheting up of tensions within a household.

There is no excuse for violence

Never forget that domestic abuse in a lot of cases is a criminal offence. There is no excuse for violence. If there should be any form of violence, including pushing, shoving, etc, then you should call the Police using 999. Violence by one person against the other, irrespective of what that relationship is, is a criminal offence and the Police will attend and deal with matters accordingly.

Coercive control can now also be a criminal offence. Coercive control can be anything from gaslighting a person to having full control over a person’s life, finances, etc. 

Simple steps you can take

There are some simple steps that you can take, if you are concerned about your personal safety over the Christmas period. Do not allow the potential aggressor to come between you and the door exiting the room that you are in.  Keep your mobile phone close to you at all times. If appropriate, abuse, violence or controlling behaviour can be recorded on a phone or other device but be careful that it doesn’t put you at risk if you do so.

If matters erupt and you are assaulted or in fear, remove yourself and any children from the situation and call the Police.

Domestic abuse isn’t simply suffered by women. It can be suffered by men too. If matters become too difficult, seek help and advice. You do not have to put up with domestic abuse. There are links below to IDAS, that assist people in North Yorkshire and DVAP, that can assist those in East Yorkshire. Whilst both organisations will help both men and women, I have also included below a link Mankind, a domestic abuse charity who specialise in assisting men who have suffered domestic abuse.

If you do suffer domestic abuse, whether verbal, controlling or violence, then it may be that in the absence of a Police involvement/prosecution, you want to gain protection by way of an injunction (known as a Non-Molestation Order) and an order requiring the abusive person to leave the house (known as an Occupation Order).  Our experienced Family Team at Harrowells will be happy to assist with this or any domestic abuse queries you may have.

Helpful links:

Domestic violence - adults (eastriding.gov.uk)

ManKind Initiative - Supporting Male Victims of Domestic Abuse

IDAS